You Can't Always Run
by AlphaWolfOfRed67
Summary: Guilt eats away at him with memories he'd rather forget. Stefan's human, Bonnie forced the cure in him after he killed Enzo. All he can do is run. Well Damon wont let him. Not to mention the hell to pay when Dorian shoots a very human Stefan. Damon's there instead of Caroline. Multi-fic episode tag- 08x11 * 08x12


A/N: Hey guys, I'm finally writing another fic! But this one was requested by the lovely _**Rose4350**_. I haven't been up to date with the season so I don't have alot of information XD but, I'm watching them so ill be up to speed soon. Hope you guys enjoy this fic! Will be multi-chapter and the other chapters should be longer to!

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 ** _Summary- You Can't Always Run_**

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The memories raced back, attacking his subconscious with images he tried so desperately to push from his tortured mind. They were unforgiving, replaying every murderous act- all the blood spilt, lives taken by his hand- played out before his very eyes. He had take so many lives while his humanity switch was flipped. Stefan could see them as clear as the moment he watched the life leave a woman's eyes. Her choked scream still echoed in his ears and the fear stricken expression haunted his thoughts like the plague. The guilt, the regret washed over him like a raging tidal wave from an ocean storm and it floored him until he hit rock bottom. Pain, sorrow, he felt the two more strongly than anything else and it threatened to destroy him. His eyes burned from the slowly forming tears that started to build up, causing them to shine like fine glass. His hands gripped the steering wheel in a vice grip that's was as strong as a slithering snake. His teeth were clenched with barely controlled emotions and Stefan focused on breathing. In. Out. Breath.

Bonnie's heartbroken expression flooded his mind. The anger showed more than anything else, masking the despair that she felt but it didn't hide the multiple tears that were shed and stained her flustered cheeks. Stefan saw the sheer loathing burning a blaze in her usually soft hazel orbs and it was directed at him. Even back when she loathed Damon, never had Stefan seen such a raging fire, a a hatred, in those eyes. He caused the pain, killed enzo, the love of Bonnies life, right in front of her before threatening to also kill her and it took everything in Stefan not to drive the car straight into a tree. After all, he was human now and maybe, just maybe the blow would kill him. It's less than he deserves. Even hell wasn't good enough for him.

Stefan wasn't sure if the pain he felt was emotional turmoil alone, or if his body ached along with his beating heart. His heart, that hadn't beat over a hundred and fifty years, thumped loudly in his chest, pounding fiercely against his ribs and it actually hurt. It was a feeling that was much worse than when the traveler, that rested within Tyler's body, ripped it from his chest. At least then it was a non functioning organ. Now? The emotions were ten times worse and he could feel the several tiny knifes poking his insides at once. Guilt swirled around in his gut, eating away at his mind.

The engine came to life, its soft purr reaching higher until it roared like a lion. The gas pedal was pressed to the floor and Stefan watched the hand climb, going from fifty, sixty, eighty in no time but no matter how fast he was going it would never put distance between him and his sins.

"Damn it!" A curse left his throat in a harsh whisper, both from anguish and rage.

How could he ever face Bonnie, Caroline? How many times can one say sorry before it's too much? Before it's nothing more than a repeated word without meaning and how many times can you forgive the same person that's committed the same crimes? Stefan closed his eyes as another wave of pain sent tremors through his body making his hand involuntarily tighten around the steering wheel. If he still had the super strength, it would have crushed under the pressure.

A sudden sound filled the deathly silent car causing Stefan's eyes to snap open in surprise. His gaze traveled to the cell phone that laid abandoned in the passenger seat. The screen lit up and a name in bold letters shinned across the screen.

Damon. His brother was calling him. Stefan's heart seemed to freeze in place. All the air was forced from his lungs like a perfectly well placed punch to the gut.

At some point Stefan had let off the gas and, whether it be unconsciously or not, he was too lost in his own self pity to care, the engine died back down to a low growl and he eyed the phone with hesitation. He didn't know whether to answer it or not, too afraid of what Damon had to say. He already knew that Bonnie must have told Damon what happened to Enzo. Stefan felt his heart start to pump more ferociously, remembering the last time Enzo died. Damon had believed that Stefan was the one who ended the vampires life and the anger, the hurt, in Damon's expression when he found out was hard enough the first time.

Stefan could still recall the words Damon spoke. He tried to deny the pinch of hurt he felt when hearing them but it wasn't something he could easily ignore. Not when they burnt like a hot iron poker. The only difference was his skin didn't sizzle, his body wasn't on fire but his heart felt the aftermath all the same as if he was.

A buzzing, before a familiar ring, brought him out of his ravine of thoughts once again. His eyes went from the road ahead of him to the cell phone. Deciding to answer it, he didn't want to piss Damon off anymore than he already probably was, Stefan's finger hovered over the screen. His hands were shaking.

Taking a deep breath, Stefan answered the call.

Damon wasted no time speaking, or rather, half yelling over the other end of the receiver.

"Where the hell are you, Stefan."

Stefan was silent. He could hear the anger in his brothers voice. Damon was no stranger to being gentle. No sugar coating anything and straight to the point. It made reading Damon's mind and movements difficult, but, he would always be able to make out anything through listening to Damon's voice and even though there was mostly rage, Stefan could hear slight concern filtering Damon's usual calm demeanor.

"Im leaving." Stefan answered, not taking his eyes off the road.

His mind was made up. He didn't know how he could fix what he's done and he didn't know how to face Bonnie. He didn't know how to face Caroline and he sure in the hell didn't know what to say to Damon. He could apologize, tell him how sorry he was for killing his best friend, but it wouldn't change the fact Enzo was dead.

"Like hell." Damon's harsh voice made Stefan jump in surprise. "You don't just get to leave Stefan. Not now. Is this how it's always going to be? Huh, little brother? Make a mistake, run and hope all your problems fix themselves?" Damon questioned, the harshness Leaving his voice but his tone was still hard.

Stefan could feel his hand shaking even more. It wasn't like Damon was wrong. Stefan did run from his mistakes, putting as much distance between him and every unthinkable crime he commited. It didn't fix anything, didn't rewind time and redo what's already been done and he sure in the hell never found redemption at the end of the line. Only more guilt, more loneliness and isolation. Regret. Too many emotions to even comprehend.

Running didn't solve problems.

So why did Stefan keep running?

He wasn't sure of the answer either. "Damon. I can't face Bonnie. Or Caroline. I can't. What I did..." He sounded pathetic but hell, he felt just as worse.

"I know and I'll kick your ass for it later. Right now? You need to turn around." Damon stated, not really a command of any kind.

Stefan could hear the 'or else' clearly. He didn't doubt that Damon would hand him a serious beat down if he didn't listen, especially now that he wasn't a vampire, but Stefan didn't slow down. If anything he sped up, pressing on the accelerator once again until his speed increased. He wanted, no NEEDED, to put more miles between him and everyone he cares about. His mind was made up. He was leaving and he wasn't coming back.

"I'm sorry Damon. Tell Bonnie...tell Bonnie I am sorry and Caroline." Stefan's voice was soft.

"Don't you do this. Stefan I will-"

Whatever Damon was going to say, whatever threat he was going to proclaim, was cut off along with the call. Stefan rolled down the window and threw the phone out of the car, completely set on not going back. They would be safer, happier, if he wasn't in their lives.

With that mindset, Stefan didn't look back as he left mystic falls in his rearview mirror and braced whatever came ahead.


End file.
